What do graveyards, deer, New York City and juggling have in common?

1) The "Run Like Hell" is a race in Cincinnati which occurs shortly before Halloween. The entire point of the race is to run through a cemetery in costume (Winning means nothing!). Like most things in Cincinnati there is beer, goetta and milling about at the end--this adds to the surreal aspect of the evening. Because, you haven't lived until you have enjoyed beer and goetta with a man dressed as waldo or a pimp--the hat was rather ambiguous. Odder still was the man dressed as a Tinkywinky the purple teletubby. He ran behind me in the graveyard and will haunt my dreams. I am proud to say my friends dressed as princesses and pirates. Finding the costume was a trick in itself. You try finding a princess costume two days before Halloween with a full skirt, limited cleavage and which does not have the words "Sexy or Sassy" on the bag. ("Dear Sirs, But I don't want to be nearly nude two days before November! Its Cold." my planned letter of complaint to the costume company will read) In the end there was a lot of glitter involved. Most importantly, no one in my group was the poor individual who got hit by a deer. Yes --while running through a cemetery in costume accompanied by a giant teletubby and two vikings--someone got nailed by a buck. ("Run Bambi! Man is in the woods!") Bambi's revenge--I have been calling it mostly to myself... For several weeks now...But just know it was a full moon and it could have been you.

2) The day of Halloween I learned several things: a) Ohio at one point had a series of canals. b)Indian lake is the head waters of the Miami. c) if you swamp a boat in Indian Lake--well really two canoes lashed together with a core rig between them---you want to do it with members of the UC geology department because they can swim and chances are they won't let you drown. Seriously if you are going to do it do it with them. d) Canoes not as buoyant as they might be when filled with water.(This is quite the revelation for a desert rat) e) Fleece sucks up water like none other (again who knew?) g) Family dollar sells dry clothes and generally the folks working don't judge you if you walk in clearly wearing someone else's clothes--several sizes too large h) Looking for people in a small town in Ohio on a Saturday afternoon? The bar which gets the OSU game is a brilliant place to start. There may even be lunch.

3) The next weekend it was to New York! Seeing family! And seeing friends from Santa Fe! And family member's art--again all the artistic talent landed in two members of my family: my aunt Sarah and my cousin Jake (possibly he is not yet 10). Her show had beautiful cloud images over construction sites and a visual obituary to Moses. Moses contrary to popular belief is my Aunt's cat and not my grandfather. While in New York (where everyone called me Sweetie or Honey--I think I screamed out of place) I stayed with the ever kind and fantastic Emma and Jessie and their likewise wonderful, kind, funny, smart and attractive roommates. (A feisty vaguely Canadian themed bunch) Thank You All! When Emma, Jessie and I were little we used to build fairy villages after school together. Yes, they knew me through elementary school and high school and they still talk to me! This go around there were significantly fewer fairy villages. Instead we poked around central park--so many statues so little time. They tolerated my shouting "OH MY GOD ITS THE GHOSTBUSTERS' BUILDING!" repeatedly. We escaped to Sheepshead Bay--where Russian seems to be the primary language. (My most commonly uttered phrase? "I'm sorry I don't speak Russian... Or read Cryillic... I have got to learn another language") The grocery store in Sheepshead Bay sold pickled watermelon, salted watermelon, lots of tea, various types of rye and preserved fish and 2 liter bottles of beer. Naturally we got chocolate. The wrapper is in cyrillic. Also, we went to the Brooklyn Museum of Art's first Saturday Dance Party and the fly fish bar. (Dancing amongst the art and drinking with the fish all in one evening) And I must not forget to mention the Yankee victory ticker tape parade. The parade was simple really--take 2 million people put them in navy and white and fit them into under 12 city blocks--add an accent and a strong dislike for all things Philadelphia. Drop paper by the ton and Cheer! The trip was wonderful!

4) Monday after I returned from the trip I went to my neighborhood grocery store. There were fewer pickled things and no liters of alcohol. But, they know me and now the know me as the girl who knocked over the eggs. I am still not sure what happened. I was reaching for eggs and then the next thing I knew I was juggling--unsuccessfully--5 cartons of eggs. Which all landed in rapid succession on the floor and my feet. (Its like a very embarrassing spa treatment). It was silent--except for a small child who asked me "What are are you doing?" Then a clerk approached me and asked, "having some trouble?" Well actually the clerk had seen it all and was laughing so hard she was crying. Evidently I made quite the face. I offered to mop up my mess. But, I suspect they really wanted me out of the dairy section and away from the perishable so the clerk handed me an unbroken carton of eggs. The mother of the inquisitive child told me to be careful and off I went. Breakfast in hand.

Its Columbus. Its the great Pumkin and its Dancing!

This weekend was spent in Columbus. A huge thank you to my friend Katherine who let me stay with her!

SATURDAY
Saturday we went to the Columbus Public Library book sale. (Don't lie you are envious.) And if there is anyone who knows how to have a good time at a book sale it is me and Katherine. We loaded up--Geology of the Appalachian Trail anyone? or Emily Post's Book of Etiquette the 2nd edition. (Includes an entire chapter on broken engagements--I am now a fountain of knowledge.) Katherine filled her children's book quota. (Instilling in me a faith that she will make an awesome doctor) And I found a book in which the the first line was: "The duke was Duchally drunk so, dance he did." The rest of Saturday was spent at The Yankee Trader; which is the public library book sale of party favors--if you want a small tchotchke they have it. Groucho glasses to OSU temporary tattoos. Then being Macalester grads we went to the OSU library--because 6 hours of study time is what every saturday needs. OSU was in a particularly dour mood losing to Purdue that day (that sound you heard is the sound of testosterone crashing and hearts breaking). But the library is something else--seriously where else would you go in Ohio for Internet access, Jesse Owens' 1936 Olympic gold medal and a replica of winged victory?

SUNDAY
Sunday morning at 7:30 am found me on the corner of 3rd and Broad nestled in among 10,000 other marathon and half marathon runners in the below freezing weather. Ready for action in knee high orange soccer socks, tye-dye, shiny black leggings, and a hat with "Boo" written on it in sequines I found myself thinking it is time to bring out my winter clothes. After chatting with the guy next to me I found I was standing next to the nicest bachelor party--ever. It turns out the groom really really really wanted to run the 1/2 marathon as part of his bachelor party so there they were in below freezing weather at 7:30 on a Sunday morning all wearing shirts which read "If found in bar please return to marathon." You could tell the best man had been thinking "Strip" either club or Vegas but not 13.1 miles on a Sunday morning. Seriously those groomsmen = saints. They had also downloaded the same play lists onto their i-pods. First song up Paparazzi--Lady Gaga. Then the gun fired at the band at the start line played Hang on Sloopy. (Evidently Ohio's unofficial song.) Five minutes later I had not moved and the band still played Hang On Sloopy. I could see runners on the TV big screen on a near by building--they were moving. 1o minutes pass--still standing, still playing Hang on Sloopy. I start to pass the time by yelling O-H and seeing who answers I-O. The bachelor party had finished grooving to lady Gaga and were now on to Shakira (Hips don't Lie). I start listening to Shakira. About 30 minutes later...I start to move ever slow slowly towards the start line. The band is still playing Hang on Sloopy. And I was off! By the time I reached mile two the leaders of the half marathon were at mile 7. I plug on. The course had a lot of fun bands along the way. They played the Rocky Theme on electric guitar, there was the chariots of fire theme song and my personal favorite--a band playing only songs with run in the title. Then for a 3 mile stretch around mile 7 was the isle of the acoustic bands. Nothing like Joni Mitchell to get you amped up! (I've looked at love from both sides now---and I kind of want to walk or maybe stare ponderously at the clouds....) The most surreal portion of the course was near Franklin park where the neighborhood proceeded to play Phish music from loud speakers while someone dressed as a giant pumpkin danced along side the race course. (This scene has possibly been added to my nightmare gallery. Or my "whoa weird dream" catalogue at the very least). Finally 1hr and 59 minutes later I finished. I proudly crossed the finish line where the band played Hang on Sloopy over speakers blaring Kanye West. (Hang on stronger faster Sloopy! Hang On!) At the finish line I got a hat, a medal and a krispy cream donut.

Yes, I am wearing knee-high soccer socks and did sleep in this sweatshirt and other things about Thursday.

It was a banner day today.

(It was one of those days where stumbling across this mural was not at all suprising)

1. While I washed my hands I, not once, not twice but three times somehow maneuvered the bar of soap so that it flew out of my hands and hit me square in the forehead. Like I said it was a banner day.

2. Later while running I saw a man who was the spitting image of John Waters (the director--Serial mom, Edward Scissorhands...). He was in fire engine red running leggings. While watching him I ran into a stop sign. Straight into it. It was rush hour--people in cars were staring--as I backed up pretending nothing happened I tripped over my own feet falling down landing on my butt in the street. (The street is named Grace--Irony was out and about today.) I now know the sound I make when I run into a pole.

3. So thinking of running somewhere along the way I decided that it would be a good idea to--one week after the swine flu and three days after the cold that accompanied swine flu episode and in the middle of midterms--run the Columbus half marathon! So come Sunday I will be jogging the streets of Columbus. Slowly jogging the streets of Columbus. The weather has been a little iffy and I can't find my winter clothes so what I wear during my jog is looking to be seriously cobbled together from scavenged winter clothes. (You know those things you have lying around your house because they are too hideous to wear but you never seem to throw away) Just know Sunday involves sequins (!) and bright orange knee high soccer socks. So--send good running vibes, white light and hear my battle cry: "Shiny is good!"

Accidents and Cole Porter. And "Excuse me sir, are you Paul?"

1) Driving home from the movies last night I saw a car accident. Not one like when at the age of 14 very carefully drove the family Volvo into the side of the carport creating a shin height black mark on the wall that lives on today. But an accident where a car crossed three lanes into the on coming traffic lane on Columbia parkway--nearly hitting one car then swerving out of control before hitting the retaining wall. Everyone stopped. People got out of there cars in the rain and everyone whipped out cell phones. By the time I got through to the police the driver had gotten out of his wrecked car and was also on his cell phone. The police informed me that they were already on their way. This whole thing took maybe 15 minutes start to end--when the police arrived. The entire time the lady next to me was crying. As soon as the police showed up she stopped and was fine. Most importantly no one was hurt. When I got back into my car I heard a song my grandfather used to play for me ("Do I love you?" by Cole Porter) You rock late night public radio! I hadn't heard it in 14 years. But you can guess what song has been on repeat today. Judging from the loud techno music coming from upstairs I think my neighbors may be getting annoyed. Mostly it is an awesome dance party.

2) In a few short weeks I am going to New York City to see my aunt's gallery show. In case you are wondering where the artistic talent in my family landed--it would be with my aunt Sarah. This can be witnessed in the number of drawings from my childhood that were supposed to be of a fairy cat princess but look like a cow having an out of body experience. So if you are in New York around the 5th of November there is a cannot miss art show. Recently though New York specifically Brooklyn has been coming up a lot. Mostly because of a certain mystery man--who at this point is probably about the same age as my grandfather. I know him only as Paul K. You see, there are a number of fossils at the Cincinnati Natural History Museum collected by a man who only signed his name as Paul K. His first collection all stored in little green boxes dates from 1940-1942 and the fossils are from just outside of Rochester New York then there is a gap between 1942 and 1945 and in 1945 the fossils he collected start appearing again but this time they were all picked up in Brooklyn New York. All his samples are labeled on the back of lucky strike cigarette boxes. He has really nice hand writing--beautiful script but, evidently no last name. I would love to know how the fossils came to be in Cincinnati and what happened to him. Did he ever stop smoking? I have been running through K last names in my mind (mostly while lying flat on my back with the flu). My leading candidates for his last name (based purely on speculation, opinion of what sounds best with the first name Paul and instinct) are in no particular order Kagan, Katz, and Kander. Anyway--I hope to pass him on the street in Brooklyn. I plan on complementing him on his hand writing and his taste in Bivalves.

When Swine Flew

Back in May I ran the Flying Pig Marathon. (Cincinnati at one point was known as Porkopolis. Yup from the Land of Enchantment through the North Star State and now in Porkopolis--what a trajectory.) While running the Flying Pig Marathon I wore a shirt with a pair of wings surrounding the name H1N1. Get it swine flu? Flying Pig? Well this week I got the swine flu. And trust me the marathon was a whole lot more fun. Monday I was drowsy, Tuesday I was moody and by Tuesday night I had fever, slight nausea, chills, aches and the doctor at urgent care was telling me I had the swine flu from the doorway of the exam room. If you want to see a doctor cringe and slowly back away get the swine flu. Well, since then I have been asleep for about 30 hours of the past 48. I filled my waking time with staring at the ceiling and feeling bad for myself and watching movies (A Slapshot marathon was on!) and feeling sorry for myself. I also spent time walking into rooms and announcing that I had coughed on one thing in there and watching people freak. My mom has been following me around with Germ-X. The strangest part of the flu was that my brain went to mush. I couldn't hold a thought in there. I very carefully cracked an egg in the skillet and walked off. I never turned on the burner I never looked back. I found it several hours later still untouched. Seriously--breakfast abandonment is something I would never be guilty of in normal life. I kind of worry about what I wrote my professors in the "Dear Professor I have swine flu and won't be in class tomorrow and you may want to Lysol the computer lab." e-mails I sent out after I went to urgent care. But now that I am feeling better--I walked a total of 3 blocks today. And my mother has agreed to be in the same room with me again. Now the big task is sanitizing the apartment. If I touched it-it has been Lysoled, washed or thrown out. Possibly all three. So tomorrow I return to school where I suspect I will be sitting alone but, before that I have to boil 4 loads of laundry and possibly Lysol the cat.

Murphy's Law is Alive and Well.

1) I am an inconsistent cook. (Perhaps unlucky) Sometimes you get excellent cookies and sometimes you get me wrapped in a towel fresh out of the shower hitting a smoke detector with a hockey stick only after throwing pan of what was rice out the kitchen window. While my housemate Will stares at the burnt on mass sitting on the stove and asks, "so this was rice?" And then there was the unfortunate broiling the valentine's day cookies thing. Turns out if you broil cookies you get blackened tops and raw interiors--just a little FYI. It was a card rather than cookie valentine's day that year. Well I decided to make some cookies to welcome my new upstairs neighbor. You see, the last time I made cookies for my new upstairs neighbors they were well received. Unfortunately the next conversation I had with the girls upstairs was about the new diet they had just started when they moved upstairs (Probably shouldn't have iced the cookies). New neighbor new round of cookies. (Chocolate chip!) They turned out great--walnuts and all. However my wonderful ,very, kind and understanding neighbor ate one and required a shot--she is allergic to nuts. (Should have iced the cookies instead of adding the healthy nuts)

2) So, this morning I woke up to a "SFHHHSHHH SHFF Blub gurgle" sound. Getting up I find the dishwasher emitting water and soap suds all over the kitchen. Skidding (like a little water bug) across the soap water covering the kitchen floor I tried to stop the dishwasher mid-cycle. The dishwasher was having none of it. So over reacting I run to the basement and shut off the water and call Joe the plumber. Seriously his name is Joe. It is on his belt buckle. He is very kind, very gregarious and smells like cigarette smoke. He also saved my skin this Sunday morning. Well, Joe comes over and all of 20 minutes later has the dishwasher under control and working again. I turn to mop the floor (which is now really clean--there was a lot of soap involved). On his way out looks at me and goes, "You know you are setting yourself up to lose." He smiles and leaves.

3) Well that statement kind of took me off guard. Joe seemed like such a nice guy. I put it out of my mind and went for a run. People were nuts today! Folks were staring. Small children coming out of church booed me. The couple pushing the baby carriage in the in the park cheered me. The other runner at the stop light looked at me made a sound like pfft and winked Finally I am almost home and my neighbor (This guy wears soccer shorts, flip flops and holey t-shirts every weekend but some of the nicest suits I have ever seen during the work week. He has different cuff links every day and shoes with tassels) goes "Nice shirt." I look down--my shirt reads "Steelers." I then remember today is the Bengals v. Steelers game. Its a home game and kick off is in 30 minutes. Note to self: Check NFL schedule and dress accordingly.

Well after that: afraid to venture outside I stayed inside and did homework. I am thinking about some food but am slightly afraid of what will happen if I turn on the stove. (I think Mercury is in retrograde...)

School Starts Again...

Today I realized these things:

1) Columbia Parkway near Stanley smells exactly like my undergrad college campus: a combo of bagels, coffee and exhaust. (Those of you from Mac know it as that wonderful DunnBros/Caribou/Breadsmith/"why is there a major road running through our campus?" aroma). It made me ready to start school again--which is good allowing as how I start tomorrow. And by this time Thursday I will not be watching prime time TV but rather will be in a van or "crazy bus" depending on how long we've be on the road" with 8 other geology students (hopefully all showered) hauling towards the slightly vague destination of the Hudson River Valley. I assume we are looking at rocks--but am hoping to sneak a peek or two at the changing leaves. (More on the geology trip after I return. Just know I am planning on trying to start a cannon of row row row your boat or bust out the crawdad song)

2) School starting again is giving me stress dreams (mostly this whole grad school thing) but I know that my first day can not be worse than the man I work with who summed his first day of kindergarten up with the sentence "All I know is when I left the house I was wearing pants."

3) Today I figured out that if you alter the air pressure in the air scribe (a sharp pointy thing used to prep out fossils at the museum) you can change the tone of its annoying hum and play Louie Louie. I am now the most popular girl in the prep lab. (But allowing as how my competition is a Mammoth tooth this title will probably change soon. Giant molars are hard to beat.)

Well those are my pre-school realizations--and it is great that my life can be tidily boxed into a specific scent featuring exhaust, loosing a popularity contest to a tooth and a rock oriented road trip.